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I mean… Christmas!  Duh nuh duh CHING! Unfortunately for us working stiffs in my town we cannot afford holiday decorators (they really exist) so left to our own devices we have… this.

DISCLAIMER:  This is just for fun!  I’m just being a smartass.

I have broken these down into categories.  Let’s begin with Creepy Plastic Figures
creepy plastic santa

Creepy Mrs. Claus

Creepy plastic Santa 2

Creepy plastic Santa 3

Creepy fiber optic snowman

Now for my LEAST favorite decorations… the tacky, horrendous INFLATABLES.  Nothing makes me want to bust out the BB gun more than those ugly things.

One of the biggest sources of my loathing is when they’re just left as a lump of fabric in the middle of the yard.  This is not cute!!!!

Inflatable graveyard

Next, we have an imposter Santa. Before I post this, and other photos, let me just pose this question to you: What is the point of an inflatable _______? This next one you might go “awwwwww” but ask yourself “What purpose does the giant inflatable pooh santa serve? Why does he have a candy cane stapled to his chest? And why would anyone want to SIT on the pot they’re about to eat from?”
Santa imposter

Snow globe on the roof. Christ’s birth. Totally get it.
Snowglobe on the roof

Joyriding santa with an underage elf and a very phallic green thing in the backseat.
Joyriding inflatable

I need a wide angle lens to capture all FIVE. And santa driving a tractor? That man drives everything. I think I actually saw him on last season’s Ice Road Truckers.
Excessive inflatables

Half of santa and a reindeer with no lights on upstairs.
Unlit reindeer head and half of santa

If Rudolf were killed, stuffed and mounted I imagine this is probably what it would look like… in vinyl.
decapitated reindeer

Decapitated snowman with a spinning head. Srsly.
Spinning snowman head

Let’s move on to Creative Lighting

Unfinished business:
creative use of lights 2

creative use of lights

Not only does this one sport some busted out lights, it’s positioned in front of a box of crap yet to be put out. Festive.
Busted house and boxes of crap

Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a busted santa and a very conspicuous motor
Broken lights and visible motor

If anyone can figure out what santa is doing to that doll and what HGUGY and the last letter of holiday is, let me know.
What is santa doing to whatever it is he's holding?

Hybrid snowman/nuctcracker life size neon Pez dispenser.
Snowman/nutcracker stick head

And last, but certainly not least, Creepy Doll

3 santas, 2 Mrs Claus and a menorah. Talk about Holiday Spirit!
Creepy dolls and a menorah

Nothing says Christmas like breaking an entering!
B an E

This house FTW! The whole front porch contains creepy Christmas dolls and if that weren’t enough, the yard is a zoo of neon critters.
Wow.  Just wow.

I was hoping to end this post with some really cool house or some display, but there wasn’t any. What I did find that made me chuckle, may have entirely been placed in such a way by accident but I thought it was hilarious.

I present: “Cock and Balls”
Cock and balls